March 16, 2018
More often than not I find myself in conversation with a person trying to get in touch with their inner child. To hold themselves the way they wish that they had been held. To unlearn the beliefs they learned from limited understanding. It’s certainly not unusual in LA to hear about the newest most unusual way to find peace.
I certainly don’t know why we have every traumatized person in this city finding ways to heal themselves and the people around them, myself included.
I think perhaps the excitement of having an emotional breakthrough is something that’s difficult to keep for yourself. The best way to get more joy is to give it away.
When I was first told about Wild Vessel I was more than apprehensive, the idea of women coming together to tap into their feminine divine, frightening for me. I have come to an understanding of men, I know what they want, how their minds work, I can read the men in my life like a kindergarten book. Too easy! However women make me afraid, even though I am one myself, I have yet to master understanding and comfortability around them.
That said I am an open-minded person and I am willing to challenge myself to grow into the best version of myself. I’m not too far off from that, haha. Along came my dear friend Lauren bouncing off the walls about Wild Vessel, she brought it up at every opportunity, I have never seen someone more enthusiastic about anything I don’t think. What was interesting though was that she couldn’t quite explain to me what was going to happen at the event. Through no fault of hers, it is not easy to explain something that is best experienced. However, if nobody told you about something how would you know if you wanted to do it in the first place. I agreed to go, and this was my experience.
Upon arriving at the secret location, we were greeted by a very organized team who put us completely at ease. We were required to give up our phones, which was both a relief and difficult. The phone addiction struggle is real. I had learned right before the event that some friends of mine had also signed up to attend, thankfully I had some allies to go through this experience with. In a work capacity I am completely capable of talking to anyone, but when I bring my vulnerable self I become extremely introverted. We were lead into a reception area, where there was the option of being painted with the most stunning designs. I declined because I was cold. We were also given conversation starter cards which I thought was a fantastic idea for the lonely and uncomfortable, like me, to integrate themselves easily into a group.
After snacking and mingling with the other excited attendees we were given an introduction and breakdown of the evening's events. Along with some rules, which were for our wellbeing, not to take the fun away. The men, who were called protectors went on their way and the women were lead upstairs. Given blindfolds we proceeded to take part in a guided meditation and dance, this was to allow us to feel free of judgment. I would have preferred a dark room with a little light, I felt like a worm jiggling about in a cylinder trying really hard not to flail my arms about into the women around me. In the end, the blindfold restricted me more than it freed me.
After our dancing, we were set free to roam around the beautifully decorated venue. The attention to detail was fantastic, you could definitely tell the event was made in love. The vibe was calming and although I initially had fear of the other women, that soon dissipated. We were all there for the same thing, we were willing to step into the unknown to come out on the other side with more freedom than we came in. each corner and side room was filled with a unique and unusual activity.
One room had a sound bath as its center surrounded by massage, astrology, cozy corners just to lay. Attached to the room was one of my favorite part of the whole night; a bathtub filled with little boats where you could slip notes of what you want to release onto them. I always seem to have something I want to shed in my life. What intrigued me about the evening was how fluidly everyone took to interacting and enjoying all that was on offer. In the areas where I felt uneasy, there were wild guides clad in white to encourage us.
Some time into the evening the men were allowed to enter the sacred space. They had been given jobs to help us in our discovery. Some were there to serve us snacks and beverages. The rest were divided into three groups. Each of the three groups forms a circle with their backs towards the center. In one group the men sat and we were encouraged to sit in silence and observe each other. In another group, the women were allowed to talk to a silent man whose job was simply to listen to us. And the last group was available for hugs. I tried each of the activities with some resistance at first. I felt guilty, as though if I told a man what I was really thinking it would be wrong. Interestingly in my personal life, I have often been far too honest and open with what I think and feel, I often think back on past relationships and berate myself for not keeping quiet. The most difficult of all was the hug, I am very uncomfortable with affection, I find it an achievement to greet people I know with a hug let alone a stranger I don’t know. I successfully managed to hug the strange man, but I'm not sure I would do it again easily, but that’s my issue.
As the evening went on I found myself in the coaches corner talking to a doula about my childhood. I cant say that there was instant healing, but the fact that I was allowed to be honest with someone about some of my hurts made me feel heard. Sometimes being heard is enough to cause great change. The entire evening was centered around communication, healing, love, togetherness. Basing anything in goodness can only turn out well.
By the end of the evening, I did not see a woman or man who did not seem at peace with themselves and pleased to be there. While I love to write, the written word cannot accurately describe what wild vessel really is. Perhaps that’s because each person will have their own experience based on their own needs in the healing and trauma department. What wild vessel does is create a space and facilitate the journey, guiding us in the direction of our primal self.
For the man looking to understand women, I would encourage an open mind and a willing heart. For the woman look to be free and authentically herself, I can say that this is just the jumping off point to a vast world of incredible unusual experiences that will change you forever.
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March 19, 2018
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February 20, 2018